Sunday, November 11, 2007

Real Government Warnings

What those beer labels should actually say.

Government Warning: 1) According to the surgeon general, women should not consume alcohol when having their period. This can cause extreme emotions and complete bitchiness. 2) Consumption of alcoholic beverages can impair you ability to realize the guy you are about to fight is twice your size.

Government Warning: 1) According to the surgeon general you will be called a pussy later tonight when you puke on yourself. 2) Consumption of alcoholic beverage can impair your ability to keep you dick hard, but can also make you last for hours before passing out.

Government Warning: 1) According to the surgeon general, women should not consume alcohol after watching Grey's Anatomy. 2) Consumption of alcoholic beverages can impair your ability not to drunk dial your ex/parents/little siblings/professors/the White House.

Government Warning: 1) According to the surgeon general, women should remain sober and always be the designated driver since it is the only time you should be allowed to operate a motor vehicle. 2) Consumption of alcoholic beverages can impair you ability to determine the weight of members of the opposite sex.